


The Life Lived

by StrangeMischief



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2020-10-26 09:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20740061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeMischief/pseuds/StrangeMischief
Summary: “One day you’ll understand what it’s like,” his mother said with a sigh of defeat.He snorted. “What what’s like?”She smiled sadly. “To love someone that much.”





	The Life Lived

**Author's Note:**

> As always, enjoy :3

_ The Life Lived _

_You’re okay._

He watched Grace Stampton walk across the stage and shake the university president’s hand as he handed over her diploma. In the far-right corner, a cluster of people jumped up and down while waiving homemade signs in the air.

“Anthony Stark!”

Polite applause echoes through the room.

There’s no one left to jump up and down.

There’s no one left to make homemade signs.

_Breathe._

He was flying across the night sky in the Iron Man suit. A bubble of joyous laughter worked its way from his chest and off the metal. It was the first time in months the happiness felt real. 

_Just breathe._

Steve hovered over him, shield held high in the air.

His chest constricted in fear at the sight.

Steve brought the edge of the shield down again, and again, and again.

Tears leaked from bourbon eyes. He was going to die here. Cold. Alone.

_Open your eyes._

Pepper leaned against the headboard of the bed, twirling a strand of her strawberry blonde hair around her finger absentmindedly.

“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked, slipping between the covers.

Pepper turned to face him, a glimmer of fear in her eyes. “You’ll always come back. You have to promise you’ll always come back.”

He couldn’t.

_Come back._

Wong shouts at Stephen in a mixture of languages he’s never heard. It doesn’t matter though. He doesn’t need to understand the words to piece together what it’s about.

Wong gestures lividly to the spot where the amulet holding the time stone once sat on Stephen’s chest.

It’s gone.

They had gone to Titan with the stone.

They had returned without it.

_It’s okay._

Peter launches across the limo. The teen’s arms looped around him like steel bands as he sobbed relentlessly into his mentor’s shoulder.

“I couldn’t do it!” Peter howled. “I couldn’t save them! It was just like Uncle Ben! It’s all my fault…all my fault.”

“That’s not true,” he murmured back soothingly. “You did your best. Sometimes…Sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes we can’t win.”

_It’s okay._

The Iron Man suit struggled under the weight of the rocket as he neared the swirling black hole in the sky. “It’ll be alright,” he told himself tearfully. “Everyone will be alright.”

_It’s over now._

The sheets were ripped from his sweaty, trembling form. A cool cloth was shakily pressed to his forehead. “It’s alright,” Stephen soothed. “You’re alright. I’m here. It was only a dream.”

“Stephen?” he rasped, reaching blindly across the bed. He quickly found the hand he sought and intertwined their fingers. “You’re here,” he sighed.

“Always, Tony.”

_You’re okay._

“Ninna nanna, ninna oh. Questo bimbo lo terrò,” the lilted voice crooned lovingly.

“Sing it again,” his childish voice demanded weakly as he struggled to remain awake. His mother laughed softly and gently ran a hand through his unruly brown hair. “Goodnight, Anthony,” she whispered tenderly. “I love you.”

_Wake up._

The gauntlet shone in the bright Titan sun as Thanos brought his fist down on his face. Again. Again. Again.

He didn’t want to die here.

Strange’s possessed cloak rushes by and wraps itself around Thanos’ neck. It yanks back, hauling him back into the grasp of the Guardians.

Peter drops to the ground on his left, nano-mask peeling away to reveal his pale, frightened face. “You okay, Mr. Stark?”

“Imma need some Tylenol, kid.”

_I need you._

“We’re friends now, Strange.”

“I suppose so, yes.”

“Good. Now I want the truth,” he says, struggling to keep the smile off his face. “Who smacked my ass that day? You or the cloak?”

Stephen smirks and disappears behind a row of bookshelves.

Peter howls with laughter.

_Please!_

Despite the small mountain of thick, woven blankets Yinsen has piled on him, he still shivers violently throughout the night.

He rolls onto his side out of habit. Pain erupts from his chest and wraps around him like an iron brace. It’s suffocating. It’s consuming.

Suddenly, he wishes that Yinsen hadn’t been such a good doctor.

He wishes he had died.

_Don’t do this._

Thor finds his way back to Earth in a dramatic flash of lightning accompanied by the Guardians.

They all look terrified.

“Thanos is fortifying his army. He will come for the final stone soon. We need to be ready.”

He looks back into the adjoining room. Stephen is hovering in the air, meditating. Peter’s cracking jokes, trying to get the sorcerer to break into a smile.

He didn’t think he’d ever be ready.

_Don’t do this._

“I don’t understand,’ he whispered as he traced the thin scars on Stephen’s hands.

“You don’t understand what?” Stephen mumbled back, confused.

“Why the worst things always happen to the best people.”

Stephen stilled.

He felt the sorcerer’s trembling hand rest lightly on his scarred chest, just above his heart.

“Neither do I.”

_Don’t do this!_

He watches Shuri and Banner work day and night to pry the mind stone from Vision’s head while still preserving his life.

No one said it, but he knew the truth. They had been picking away at the delicate weaving of Vision and the stone for months and were no closer than they had been before.

_I need you._

“Damn wizard robes,” he growls against Stephen’s lips in frustration. His hands pull on the elaborate garment frenziedly, lacking, in his burning need, the coordination and concentration needed to untie them.

Stephen chuckles darkly and softly pushes him back onto the bed. “Don’t worry about it,” he whispers against his lover’s ear.

He wants to protest, but Stephen’s lips have already made their way halfway down his chest.

All intelligent thought is gone.

_Please!_

“I’ll never understand how or why you put up with good ol’ dad.”

“One day you’ll understand what it’s like,” his mother said with a sigh of defeat.

He snorted. “What what’s like?”

She smiled sadly. “To love someone that much.”

_Come back!_

He grips Stephen’s hand tightly as Thanos moves out of the black portal and steps onto the Wakandan field. On the other side of the portal, countless alien creatures screech eagerly, ready for blood.

He turns to Stephen one last time, memorizing his features. “I love you,” he whispers without thought.

Stephen, turns, mouth wide with shock.

The Iron Man mask slides over his face, and he rushes forward, ready to attack.

\---

“Please!” Stephen begged brokenly, clinging to the front of Tony’s Iron Man suit. His hands are wet. His cheeks are stained. His clothes are soaked. He can’t tell what is from blood and what is from tears anymore.

Tony stares emptily up at the darkening sky. His dark eyes shine in the sunset. The bright, shimmering powder of the destroyed infinity stones dust over his body. His exposed skin has an unearthly glow. The serene smile of a man who knew he’d succeeded graces his face. He looks beautiful. Peaceful.

_Dead. _

Stephen’s mouth swings open. An uncontrollable wail of anguish rings sharply through the surrounding silence.

_Dead. Dead. Dead._

His trembling hands reach forward to cradle Tony’s slacken face. Croaky screams of denial rip past his raw throat. “Don’t leave me,” he pleads with a strangled cry. “Don’t go.”

He never got the chance to say he loved him too.


End file.
